24 July 2005

Being results-driven

I spoke to my cousin yesterday, she's not actually my real cousin, instead she's married to him. But I've known her for more than half her life and a lot more than half of mine.

She's a professional musician (piano) and music professor. She's also mother of two children. While she gets some flac for her mothering ways, she's indisputably great at music. I never fail to be amazed by her performing persona. And I enjoy discussing creativeness/art/music with her.

We spoke about my quilting and I said that I enjoy (in fact crave and neeeeed) quilting because it leaves me with a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day that I do not get out of motherhood. To me, my mothering is marked by my contemplating my shortcomings. I constantly question myself and find areas in dire need of improvement. This in combination with the lack of input caused by Alex's absence during the week, makes my days a tad tough.

I long for a time when I'll be able to interact more with adults and when I have more time for my "art". I shy away from that term in connection with my creations as art should be of a higher value than what I produce. But to hell with that, I *enjoy* what I do. Contemplating new projects gives me energy and drive. At times, it allows me to fall asleep when I'm battling insomnia caused by being overly stressed.

While I set up this blog in order to keep track of my projects, it's nice to just write down thoughts and motivations without addressing anybody in particular.

1 comment:

Jan said...

My husband had a very demanding job when our kids were little and quilting saved my sanity. Some tangible evidence that I was accomplishing something aside from daily, repetitive tasks!